Gay Marriage in Maine- Revisited

Recently I have read a few articles regarding an upcoming challenge to California's Proposition 8 which barred gay marriage in the state of California. It is thought that this case, whichever way it is decided, will be appealed eventually to the Supreme Court. The co-counsels on the case make for an interesting story as well. David Boies and Ted Olsen who were on opposing sides in the Bush v Gore case that propelled Bush the junior to the White House will be working together to attempt to overturn the law.

Olsen being a card carrying conservative makes for an interesting viewpoint. His explanations are defined much by what he perceives as the simple logic of the issue. When I read them they are valid points but too legalese for me to explain. It is such an emotional issue. People feel so strongly on both sides that they have no ability to consider the other side. For those who take their cues from the Bible they feel that Jesus's direction that a man shall not lay with a man is all the evidence that they need. It is a strong argument. However any interpretation of the Bible takes some information and ignores others. The Bible spends many, many more pages advising man what he should and should not eat. I believe that a strict interpretation of the Bible does not allow for the consumption of pork products and might even allow bigamy. This is not to make light of this issue. Clearly the Bible was written in a time frame in which the information is true and relevant.

The Bible also advises to Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin. Adultery is a sin. Many people, including many of those who vote against gay marriage have committed adultery. The fact is one can argue forever and in cases that are emotion based fact based argument will not work. To have the state sanction gay marriage is wrong some would say as it is not traditional or biblical. However divorce is state sanctioned and we do not follow the precepts for acceptable divorce from the Bible. Perhaps we should, but we do not.

Slavery, Bi-racial marriage, segregation of schools, these were all issues that had to be dealt with and tradition did not favor their being ended. One of our principal precepts is that the rights of the minorities should never be held to whim of the majority.

So where do I stand on this issue. In November I did not know. I, pardon the pun, went both ways. I did not vote. In the moment of election so much emotion is brought out. Teaching it in school is a worry for even for some inclined to be in favor of giving this right.

However for me it comes down to three things.

i have had coworkers who were gay. I have liked some of them and disliked some of them. I can say the same about my coworkers of the straight variety as well. But from my experience they were the same as me, they had good days and bad days. Of course some were the stereotypical homosexual, but is that any different or any worse than the stereotypical young man who comes to work reeking of aftershave, shirt unbuttoned and on the prowl for every pretty girl in the office.This behavior is not acceptable in either case.

Two co workers in particular changed my mind. A gentleman co worker who it is not a stretch to say is one of the finest men I have known. Considerate and kind to a fault, very talented in his profession, and simply put a person you have confidence in in every way. If this man wants to have a committed relationship to better his life why should he not.

Another was a young woman who worked in our department. She was " out" and in a committed relationship. She had nieces she adored and cared for on a regular basis. She was a bit boisterous and perhaps not my favorite person but this was because of her personality not her sexuality. I am not the judge of anyone else. I know this however, when the governor signed the bill allowing gay marriage she was joyous about the thought. Not to make a political statement, not to fly in the face of straight America but because she wanted to have her committed relationship made whole like we all do when we choose to get married.I cannot find fault with that.


Lastly I look at my own children. We all want the best for our children. So often you hear about children whose parents when they " come out " disown them, kick them out of the house, or some other harsh measure. I cannot imagine doing so. You love your children. I would not want my child to be gay or lesbian. I say this because I believe that life is hard enough, I would not want them to do anything that makes life harder. This does bring up the point, does anyone choose to be gay. We all knew people when we were in grade school that were different. No 6 year old chooses that path. I believe being gay is something you are born with, I do not know anyone who does not. Do you?

So as the election neared last fall my oldest son says to me " Well what if I was gay?" So I spoke the truth. I told him that first I would ask if he was sure. I do not want any hard paths for my children and that would be one. But if he felt he was I would tell him I love him and ultimately I would want for him the same thing I would want for any of my children. To find a person they loved, have a committed relationship, and live a happy and healthy life. How can I wish this and not support him having all the tools, including marriage, to do so.

I am not an expert. I do not believe any of my children are gay. But should that occur I will remember what I said that night. I meant it then and I like to think I will believe it then.