Driving the Activity Bus

All three of our children keep busy with activities. Basketball, Baseball, Soccer, Ballet, Gymnastics, Chorus, Band etc they have all been sure to keep themselves and us busy. We enjoy their events and enjoy watching them do well. It can be a chore getting them all where they need to be at various times. Today is a pretty typical day for us, practice for one ends at 4 at one school, practice for another from 4 to 5 at another school and practice for the oldest at the high school from 5 to 7. Somehow in those comings and goings we try to have a meal, find out what is going on with their lives and keep some sense of sanity.

It would be easier if they did not do so much. Certainly when I was growing up this level of involvement was not common. My parents worked and schedules were not as flexible as they are now. I know that my wife and I are lucky that we have some level of flexibility with our jobs and that this has made this process of driving the school bus as I call it a bit easier. Many parents do not have this ability. We try to attend all of our kids games and events, sometimes when schedules conflict we have to use the divide and conquer approach, but we try to have at least one of us at every event.

Why do we do this? I have friends who tell us that we are living through our kids. We make their victories our own and their losses are own as well. I will not lie, I want my children to do well. We are a sports house, but we go to concerts, plays, open houses and we are excited about good grades as much as sports. A couple of years ago my oldest son was made to sit out a game by me because of a problem he was having in a class doing a project. He was very angry but I felt it important that he know that academics came before sports. He learned the lesson.

So the question remains do we support their sports for altruistic reasons. I suppose not completely. For parents it becomes a social occasion, we see the same group of parents at all the games. My middle son used to get frustrated with his Mom as he felt she was too busy talking and was not watching closely enough. In contrast my oldest son says he always hears me when I talk to him on the field but he has been known to give me a hand signal to be quiet. So like every situation, every kid is different in what they expect and need for support.

It has become an accepted fact that from the time they are born that our kids lives are too structured. Baby play date groups, Mommy and Me swimming classes, it seems are kids are thrown together in structured events before they can talk. Tee ball, Little League and on and on. When I was a kid it was go play with the kids up the street but of course there are many reasons why we cannot send the kids up the street anymore.

In between basketball season and baseball season is the longest activity free lull in the year. A stretch of two months with no practice and no games. Traditionally for my oldest son this is the hardest time of the year, he is bored, his schoolwork suffers, he is a poster child for what not to do for time management. He is a walking example that having more to do teaches better time management.

People without children rarely understand and some with children think we are crazy. All I know is that in 10 years we will be staying in on cold nights not going to a B league junior high basketball game. And we will wish we were.