Dining Out Friday Night

My wife and I were so busy late yesterday afternoon getting our kids where they needed to be, running errands, and the normal late week routine that at seven we realized we were hungry. So with a desire for some seafood, no lines, and some good bread we took off for a local seafood reseraunt that I won't name but that starts with Weather and ends with Vane.

Arriving after seven at this resteraunt assures no lines, the average clientele is, shall we say, an older demographic.

Now it must be stated that I am a germophobe. For honesty's sake it should be noted that this condition seems to be worse now than it used to be. Still I do not think what happened Friday evening would make anyone comfortable.

After we were seated our waitress came over. She was I am sure a fine person and this might be a generational thing but she had a full arm sleeve of tattoos. I just do not associate that with someone I want near my food. i know, I know, that is unreasonable but I want to be in the tattoo removal business for the next 20 years. When these people get out in the real world and want to wear short sleeves one assumes they might need those things removed. Looking at her arms I felt like I was ordering a hamburger from Blotto on Popeye.

Now the tattoos were bad enough but this, this was the kicker. My wife ordered the scallops and I asked her to get the large so that I could have the leftovers for lunch. When the waitress arrived with our meals on the serving tray as she was placing our meals before us a couple of my wife's scallops escaped the plate onto the serving tray.

Can you guess what happened next. The film of the next event in my mind is like the Zapruder film of The Kennedy Assasination. " Oh a couple got away" she says as I watch her hand attached that tattood arm pick up the loose scallops off the tray and plop them on my wife's plate with a " there you go."

I was amused and horrified. I felt like I had been watching a three card monte game but instead of the card I needed now to locate the contaminated scallops. Too late I soon realized.

Saturday's lunch plan just changed.

My wife says I am extreme on these matters but what she does not realize is that the whole purchasing food at a resteraunt is based on the predicate of the illusion of cleanliness. When that barrier of illusion is broken, even for a brief moment as my friend Brad says " Cross them off your list"

That noise you just heard is WeatherVane falling off the acceptable restaurant list.