Your Dad's Birthday

Tomorrow is my father's birthday. My Dad has been gone along time, too long and yet here 27 years after his death I miss him. I think sometimes I miss what might have been more than what was. Being a teenager of a Dad that is ill is not easy for either party. I am sure I could have been more sensitive than I was and I am sure that I wish now that I should have been.

My father was a simple man who worked hard his whole life until he could work no more and I have often felt that from the time he could no longer work he felt a sense of discomfort with himself and a loss of identity.

This morning I watched an episode of The Wonder Years. Coincidentally in this episode Kevin's father is celebrating his 43rd birthday. With a college age daughter his age is a reflection of the era of the show in that people had children at a younger age.

What Kevin's father wants is a reconciliation with his daughter. My Dad never needed to reconcile with anyone. He was easygoing in the extreme. Having had me late in life I am fairly confident that I never really knew my father. He was not an introspective man and he was not someone who talked about his feelings.

He was not me. I am not him. We are dissimilar in almost every way. Still I miss him. I miss what kind of a relationship we could have developed had he had a normal old age of retirement and relaxation. He deserved it.

On his birthday tomorrow I remember how hard he worked to do the right things in his simple way. I remember that he was good and decent man who was not perfect but was typical of his time. I remember that I miss him.

Happy Birthday Dad. Thank you for all that you gave me.