How we deal

I have a friend who has just been told that he has been put on the active transplant list to have a kidney transplant. This has been a long battle for him, he has been going through dialysis for at least two years and I think longer. I met this gentleman at work, he worked in our department and was frankly struggling with his performance.

I did not know him well, until he was transferred to my team. This was not unusual, my team usually being the place of last resort for those individuals who are struggling and have not met the success we would like. I made a mistake and assumed that I knew all I needed to know about him judging by his performance. I did not. I was wrong.

I hold no misconceptions about the goodness of American commerce. I knew that I was just a faceless cog in a machine that cared nothing about me. However I did my job well; I always said I did it well out of a desire to be good at something, set an example for my children of hard work and perhaps as much as anything out of loyalty to my immediate managers who treated me well. Any idea of loyalty or desire to please the faceless giant that employed me had long seeped out of my soul.

When this man came to work for me as I got to know him I became frankly quite impressed with him. He was a man of character, doing the best he could in a job he had been sort of duped into. He had followed a friend to our company, the friend had allowed that this job would be a stepping stone to another job for which he was better suited. Unbeknownst to him the friend had not been doing so well at his job, was now gone and here was stuck on the island. I never heard him complain and resolved to do my best to help him bring his performance up to speed.

He was undergoing dialysis at this time. Days you could tell it was just killing him. Still he came to work each day, he went through some issues with his fiance and they broke up. Still he came to work each day. In the end what can any of us do but deflect and deal with all of the issues that life throws at us. To be stoic and silent and to just keep moving forward each day, it does not seem like much, sometimes it is the bravest thing we can do.

Did he get better at his job. Yes he did. Did I do much to help him get better. Perhaps a little, not much really, I think that if anything treating him with respect and letting him know that I valued him as a person and respected his effort in the face of adversity may have given him a sense of calm. He however made me better. I like to think I was a fair manager, one who did not play favorites, gave opportunities to all. This gentleman helped me to know however that success can be measured many ways.

Sometimes getting up and fighting each day is braver and more of an accomplishment than anything you see on the news. My friend would not agree that he was anything special and perhaps he is right. He was just doing what he had to do with the cards that had been given him.

Then why does it feel like that is a rarity today. Is he special or have we become so far from special that what used to be ordinary is now special. I do not know the answer.

What I do know is my friend is about to get a new kidney and I very happy for him. That is my good news of the day.